Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Stupid System Appendix?

Possible appendix entry into the Stupid System?

We'll see.


One of the most important plays in poker.

The push-call.

Use it......use it liberally.

That's how the finest of players obtain an upper edge on folks in an MTT.

A prime example is here.......


Seat 1: oossuuu754 (2,575)
Seat 2: surflexus (4,315)
Seat 3: pushmonkey72 (1,765)
Seat 4: kumabonners (2,690)
Seat 5: Donkette (1,250)
Seat 6: PirateLawyer (1,325)
Seat 7: wwonka69 (2,210)
Seat 8: DubsPoke (1,010)
Seat 9: jjok (1,010)
jjok posts the small blind of 30
oossuuu754 posts the big blind of 60
The button is in seat #8
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to jjok [5d 5h]

OK, so I'm shortstack and find presto in the blinds. I'm going in.....


surflexus folds
pushmonkey72 folds
kumabonners folds
Donkette folds
PirateLawyer raises to 190
wwonka69 folds
DubsPoke folds
jjok raises to 1,010, and is all in


Now, the hope here is that a fold happens.....I accept that AJ+, 66+ will probably call here.

But here is a critical decision to be made by one of the finest. This is where the push call comes into play.

The pot is 1290 and it will cost "the man" only 820 to call. That will still leave him with almost a quarter (over 300 chips) of his stack behind him to recover if I suck out on him.

And he's getting 1.5 to 1 here.

Most fold here and that's where "the master" comes into play with genius abilities.



PirateLawyer calls 820
jjok shows [5d 5h]
PirateLawyer shows [9c Kd]


See!!! It's a coinflip! That's exactly what you are wanting when you do a push call getting 1.5 to 1.


Results are insignificant in this case as that would be a results oriented post. This is a winner time and time again and needs to be seriously considered by every serious poker player if they want any chance of success.


Thanks for the lesson example Pirate!


BTW, have you heard about the new pirate movie coming out?

It's rated ARRRRRRR........



Oh, and BLOW.

Sunday, May 11, 2008

Blow......

First you wanna kill me, now you wanna kiss me..........Blow.
--NASH, Army of Darkness.



Had a little bit of discussion with Mook a few weeks back. Most of it a laugh and gaff, as usual.

But I came across a purpose. Something that I feel strongly about of late.

See in this day and age, it's hard to keep up with the mass IM's that seem to float this here poker brogger from time to time. Maybe it's someone razzing me (often). Maybe it's someone praising me (seldom). Maybe it's someone who has to express an opinion regardless of my own.

I, being a simpleton, like simple things. Simple responses. Simple thoughts reflected simply.
I have come to terms with the fact that my time is precious. So precious in fact that my life needs that simplicity.

So in that vein, I've come up with the best possible one word expression in responding to IM's.

BLOW.

That's it.....straight to the point. Simplie enough, yet elegant in thought. It's typing is easy, yet it's meaning is anything but. It encompasses all.

Some fine examples........And how the usage would work well.



BuddyDank: I'm thinking of trying something new with the show
BuddyDank: I'm thinking of trying to get Michael Craig or some other really cool people on it, instead of that boring quitter, scottymc
jjok: BLOW

scottymc: I'm calling it quits bro. Gonna sit on the floor with the kiddos.
jjok: BLOW...... (sniff).

MiamiDon: Cash Roools, Tourneys Droool
MiamiDon: Anyone can push preflop. Its postflop play that makes a player.
jjok: BLOW

Mookie: Wife's asking me to get a vasectomy.
Mookie: But seriously, what's wrong with having 7?
Mookie: I mean, think of the empire I will have created in the next 20-40 years.
jjok: BLOW

WES: I just won a $2500 pot with Ace high and a smile.
WES: I'm also buying an Astin Martin and a personal services contract with Stars using the 89,550,675 Stars points I've collected.
jjok: BLOW

SLB: I won a $2, 9 person SNG!
SLB: And stop calling me Sl.oB!
jjok: BLOW

PokerPeaker: Seriously, I don't know how you do it with triplets
PokerPeaker: No joke, only got about 6 hours of sleep last night.
PokerPeaker: I'm exhausted.....I bet you get even less sleep. I was sooooo tired today, I could only run like 12 miles.
jjok: BLOW

Bayne: Seriously, some dude called my pot raise allin with A278 double sooted. WTF?
Bayne: I mean I could understand if this was late in a tourney and he was shortstacked.....
Bayne: But an hour in and average stack?
jjok: Ok, first off, what the fuck is an A278?
jjok: Oh, and BLOW

PokerWolf: Society is wrong. Country's in the shitter.
PokerWolf: And I think my underwear is too tight
PokerWolf: Probably a conspiracy of the leftwing......possibly rightwing though.
PokerWolf: I blame the media.
jjok: BLOW

GCox25: Seriously bro, Buddy Bell. Best Baseballer ever man.
GCox25: Oh, and fold queens if you see any aggression.
jjok: BLOW

Tripjax: Have you seen my wife? She's hot
Tripjax: I mean, I'm a blogger and I married a hot wife.
Tripjax: Foshizzle Fonkey!!!
jjok: BLOW

Hoyazo: Recockulous. You enter a big buyin event and you see that kind of shee-ite
Hoyazo: Buttclowns. Shiteater cockballs. All of them.
Hoyazo: Cheesefuckers.
jjok: Has to be swiss. Need the holes, otherwise no fucking possible.....
jjok: BLOW

PokerEnthusiast: You gonna play razz 2nite? 10$ tourney at 1:15AM
jjok: BLOW
jjok: Yeah, I'm in.

Waffles: Serioslee, I have a tiny dick
Waffles: The 2 fists thing. complete fabercashun
Waffles: More like a stack of dimes......about 3 dollers worth......haf of won at that.
jjok: It's called grammar....and TMI
jjok: BLOW

Chad: Final tabled a couple of guarantees tonight
Chad: Still can't find a way to win some of these
Chad: Sucks
jjok: Are you kidding me?
jjok: BLOW

As you can tell, all the question can be answered by BLOW. Try it out. You might be surprised.

HOW TO LOSE IN 3 HANDS

Some fun at the 25NL tables.....

Built up a stack to almost 60$.

And it literally got flushed down the toilet in about 2 minutes......



Dealt to jjok [9s 9d]
*** TURN *** [Ac 9c Qs] [Th]
Allin
Guy shows [Ad Jd]
*** RIVER *** [Ac 9c Qs Th] [8s]
Fuck me.



Dealt to jjok [4s 4c]
*** FLOP *** [5d 6c 4d]
Allin
*** TURN *** [5d 6c 4d] [8s]
Guy shows [8d 8h]
What the fuck?



And finally the tilt hand......3rd straight hand and I have a mere 15 behind

Dealt to jjok [Ks Kh]
*** FLOP *** [2h Jc 7s]
*** TURN *** [2h Jc 7s] [Jd]
Allin
Guy shows [Js 9s]

Fuck me with a shovel.....sideways. Just go ahead, everyone else is! w00t!




Very comical to have that happen within about a 2 minute span.

At the 100's and 200's, I think I'd be steaming.

Wednesday, May 07, 2008

32 Hours of Fun......Moooook Style

Mook and Mrs Moook......thank you so much for opening your home to us degenerates. I loved this weekend just as much as last year's........

Long post........

One thing you start to appreciate as a parent is seperate time. We all now that time spent with the family will almost always be time well spent. But there are pockets of time when you have to get away and gather your thoughts a little. Or just get away from the norm for a little while so you can let loose some.

That was this weekend. A weekend that was packed to the gills with fun and only a little bit of driving.......along with lots of thoughts, ideas, and genuine reflection for yours truly.

The plan was pretty simple and I stuck to it well enough to maximize my enjoyment. I left Houston at 6AM on Saturday morning knowing that the trek directly to the Lago Vista golf course would put me in place around 9:15-9:30AM. Tee time would be 10AM.

Surprisingly, the time driving went fast. As I said before, alot of that driving time was spent as an opportunity to think through my life and what surrounds me. What I need to expect for the next few months and the next few years. I thought about JJ going into toddlerdome. I thought about my physical health and it's downfalls of late. I thought about the girls and how one is struggling with what appears to be a pretty moderate case of dyslexia. I thought about the realistic probability that they will need to attend a private school for kindergarten and all the costs associated to that. I thought about our finances, how they are good but could be better and what I need to do to make it so. I thought about the wifey and how awesome she is. I thought about my job and job security and if there was a lack thereof. I thought about our house as it's seemingly becoming too small for us every day. JJ sharing a bathroom with 3 girls that are 4 years older than he just ain't gonna hack it.

I also thought about seeing my poker buds and playing cards and smacking the golf ball around "Hill Country". I thought about all the bullshitting, laughs, and the stories that will come out.

I got to the course at 9:30-9:40 giving me enough time to smack half a bucket before heading off to the first tee. Along the way I got to see CK and Astin again which was great. Hope they enjoyed their visit to Austin.

As for the golf? I sucked. I sucked bad. It had to be the mental fatigue of being up early......but I had the shanks bad. I hit some good drives, made some decent putts and had a couple of decent chip shots. But those 3/4 swing shots were almost consistently 45 degree shanks to the right.......embarrassing. Mook and Don picked up the slack that I was and we posted a 4 under score going into the clubhouse at 9. Unfortunately we couldn't get anything going on the back and broke even to finish 4 under for the tourney. Maybe it was the Heinikins.......yeah that's the excuse.

4 under ain't all that, but we were definitely the ringers in the party.

Oh, and I won the long drive contest after smacking the shit out of a Titleist HP2 ball that saw a 15mph wind in our faces. One of the very few shots that I actually felt good about.

Crushed.

haha.

Windburned and tired, I drove Don and myself to Mookie's house so I could figure out where the hell I was. I said my hellos to Mrs. Mook, gave her Amelia's gift and then jettisoned off to the motel to check in at 4:30.

And then I passed out.

And then I woke up at 6 in a flurry knowing the tourney was to start at 7.

Quick shower and I was off to the Big O.

--------------------------------------------------

The tourney itself was fun. We had 27 runners and lots of hoots and hollers. I played well overall, I felt. Unfortunately, I couldn't win the favorites in the midstages or final table, or else I think I would have had a great shot to win it all. 7 hours later, I did end up with 6th place and a cashout of double my buyin, but there were points along the way that gave me moments of "What if's".

So here are some of the highlights.

Hand 1:
I flopped trip 3's with 93 from the BB and took almost 3/4 of the stack of a gal that was on what appeared to be a draw. That was within the first hour and got me going.

Hand 2:
I got moved to Don's table and had big hands see no callers until I found 44 in the MP. I limped in and mookie's sister in the SB raised me. I made the call looking for a flop. The flop was all low cards. She bet about half the pot. I gambled a little here and made the call. For whatever reason, I had it in my brain that she had a medium pocket.

When the turn card ace popped up, my face lit up. I had a gutshot and a potential scare card. Could I use it to my advantage? Even Mook's sister said aloud....."You're face shows you like that ace".

She checked and I deliberately waited about 15-20 seconds before I checked.

The river was a King. She bet and I immediately reraised her. She mucked pocket tens. That was niiiiiice.

Hand 3:
Still at Don's table, I had a good top 4 stack with about 20-22 left. A shortstack in the cutoff open pushed for 8K with the blinds at 400/800 I think. I have QQ and about 55K. I make the easy call and he has AQ.

Ace on the river and I was mighty mad. Shoulda folded them bitches like The Don always says. :)

Hand 4:
I got moved back to my original table, I had chipped up some more and was watching CK open pushing alot. I had those tweener hands like A9 sooooted and QJ that I love to play. But just couldn't pull the trigger.

Then the same guy with AQ hand did something bad in my mind. With him in the BB and the blinds at 2000/4000 I think, he has about 10K. Sexy Stacy UTG raised it to 10K.....and he folded. Now to me that was wrong. On the next hand, he was able to double through Don and got back up to about 12K.

So with him on the button, I find 77. I raise it to 13K and it's folded to him. He instacalls his whole stack and I'm headsup against K4 sooooted.

4 on flop. Blank on the turn. King on the river.

Again, I was steamed.

Hand 5:
I chipped up well enough to get the final 10. I have about 55K in chips and am on the button when the AQ guy, with 24K and the blinds at 4000/8000, again open pushes. I have KQ and have a moment to collect my thoughts. I'm on the button and have Sed and Mookie's sister in the blinds. Mook's sister has me covered. Do I just dump the hand or do I make the call or do I push?

I decided the time was right and pushed.

Then Mook's sister called too and I thought I was toast. Mook's sis had AJ and the AQ guy had.......AQ. Flop had a King and turn was a Q and I almost tripled up and was now in 2nd place.

This was the only allin I won all night.....even though I was behind. Go figure.

Hand 6:
I lost about 20% of my stack when I played JJ into the big stack. I bet 35K at 5000/10000 and he made the call from the BB. I found this odd at this point.....something didn't seem right. The flop came down K34 and he bet 20K. I've got about 125K behind and thought long and hard.

In the end, I really thought that "Jacks R OK" but decided it wasn't worth tangling with the big stack. I'd still have 2nd place chips if I fold and that's exactly what I did.......even getting almost 5:1 on call.

Sometimes you just have a feeling.

But fucking weak.

Hand 7:
Again, I find Jacks when I am in the SB and the blinds are 6000/12000 I think. I've got about 175K. It's folded to me. Sedric in the BB has about 50-60K. I raise it to 35K and he pushes.

Easy call by me and he shows A8.

And spikes an ace on the river.

And again I was steamed.

It was absolutely 100% the correct play by Sedric and he apologized a ton for the suckout......just bad luck on my part.

Hand 8:
We decided on a save for 7th place which saw everyone guaranteed 100$. 7th got knocked out and we are down to 6. I just got caught stealing and have about 90K left and the blinds are 8000/16000. Sexy Stacy (did I mention that she's sexy and is Rocco's hot wife?) limps UTG and I find A8.

The blinds are about to go up and I'm in a tough spot. I pushed in for 90K hoping to win the blinds and Stacy's limp. I had just enough to make any non pair hand fold.....or so I thought. It folds around to her and she thinks for a bit before calling with KQ.

And she hits 2 pair to send me to the rail in 6th place.

----------------------------------

Overall I was allin 7 times and was ahead in 4 of them.....including 3 of which I was at least a 70/30. 2 times I was a 60/40 dog against shortstack and they didn't do much damage.

1 time I was a big dog and it didn't do much damage.

I just got really unlucky. If I toot my horn for anything, it was my postflop play. I think I did, for the most part, play very well after the flop......and that's how I was able to manage a top 5 stack for most of the tournament without really having to show down.

----------------------------------

The folks

I owe Don and CK something for the Casa Noble tequila shots I bummed off them. They were fantastic.......and I wish I had the brainpower to think to buy some liquor to give to the group too........unprepared am I.

I got to only spend a brief moment with Rocco and that was regrettable. I never sat with him during the tournament and he left after he busted. Regrets by me in it's entirety.

CK was exactly as she presents herself online. A fun gal that I hope does very well for herself in her trek out west with her skinny man. It was great to be able to talk to you.

ScottyMc. My nemesis. The guy whom I love so and loathe as much at my table. He wapped me on the head at least 3 or 4 times during the tournament and in the cash game that followed. BTW, no interesting cash hands for me to post. But Scotty is always one of my faves and this is the 3rd time in a year that I've gotten the opportunity to hang out with him. A true bud.

April......great to see her again even though I didn't really have a chance to talk to her much.

Astin.......funny. Period. Made me laugh alot during the golf and in poker. It was great to see you again.

Steve.......also great to see you again. Steve has a Zeemish quality where he has a great dry humor that always makes me laugh hard. Moments of hilarity and fun coupled with just a great guy to talk to.

Sedric.......holy shit. Dude is like 7'3" and is about the size of a Mack truck. When I first saw him, I immediately thought of the WWF/WWE. Irony is that he links to WWE's site through his blog......hahahaha. I sat next to him for my entire stay at the final table. I had no info on the guy at all, and quite honestly didn't know who he was until Moookie told me so. We made a casual intro and went about our business. At every opportunity, we showed each other our cards after they played out and just had a lot of general poker talk which was refreshing. Smart player that I found instant respect for.

Mook and Mrs Mooook.......awesome folks. The best hosts. Looking forward to doing this again next year.

Don.......my boy. Lots of talk about golf, poker, life in general as always. And always appreciated. Hope to see you in July.

------------------------------------

The drive home.
I busted out of the tournament sometime around 2AM (7 hours) I think and mosied over to the cash table. As I said before, nothing really interesting for me to talk about here, but I had a fun time as always.

Probably one of my favorite moments at the cash table involved a hand that I wasn't involved in........

Don and Scott get into a little bit of a preflop war. Then the flop comes out with an Ace. Scotty bets. Don looks at Scotty long and hard. And as Don LOVES to do, he flips over his ace to see what Scotty does......

Scotty's reaction?

Without even the slightest hesitation, Scotty flips over his ace too. Don and all of us laugh.

Results aren't important as it was just another one of those "moments" that accompany a great trip. 2 great poker minds at work, looking at each other and trying to read each others poker souls......and notably with utmost respect as they decided to run it through as is.....no more bets.

Respect.....

I bid my farewells to everyone and treked back to my motel room (very nice and clean btw) and zonked out till 10:30 the next morning. The first time I have done that in forever it seems. The drive back was just like it's predecessor. Tons of thought with random moments of clarity. Driving long distances by yourself can do that......especially for me. I thought about all of the things I talked about before......and more.

I missed my family. I missed my dog. I missed home.

I was only gone for a day and a half, but........I wanted to be home again.

And at 2:00PM, I was.....

Fantastic......Fucking fantastic.

Until next week, my sincerest thanks that you make mine by folding on the felt with you.
Respectfully posted,
jjok
Sick. Less Fat than Last Week. Still Tired.

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Is This a Paid Advertisement? Hmmmmm

I see alot of folks have been posting ads of late. Good for them! Get that cash!

Me?

I've basically refused it. I've always thought that my blog was for me and me alone.....and that's just not something I've wanted to sell.

"To each his own!" is what I used to say.

Note that I said "used" to say.

Because today I want to talk you about a product that will enhance every poker players dream night at the tables.

No, it's not some "special" software or some BetUS promotion.

It's the Taco Bell Bean Burrito.

*advertisement paid for by the Taco Bell Burrito and Refried Bean Equivalent Division


Yes that's right bitches! So now you can check raise that douchebag at the quarter tables and also enjoy the most badass Taco Bell Bean Burrito! Now that's what I'm talking about!

Check it out!





Look at the goodness served on paper! It gets no finer I tell ya! The refried beans! The cheese! The onions! All encapsuled in a soft, warm tortilla that keeps it all together!

Hells yes!

I had to give it a try and sure enough, I won 15 buyins at 25NL over 1500 hands! It's all due to the burrito, man! All due to the burrito!

Eating the burrito is easy too, just start eating the non-folded side first and it's all downhill from there! Plus it only takes 1 hand! You'll see what I mean.... check this shit out!



Even the Jaybud likes it! Check out the smile! One-handed! For all you fools thinking that he's happy because he's in the box with his sisters, you're dead wrong!

It's the burrito, man! It's always about the fucking burrito!

What the hell are you waiting for guys?!?! Get the burrito tonight before the Mooookie starts! Semi-guaranteed to double you up in the first 15 minutes!

And I think their offering a freeroll and shit.......not sure yet. Working out the details and stuff.

But fuck, man!! Get the burrito already!

Get the fucking burrito!


I can't stress this enough, man! Check out Jaybud! Look at that smile! It's the fucking burrito, man! It's ALL ABOUT THE BURRITO!


If you have any questions, just leave a comment!


But still.....get the Bean Burrito from Taco Bell, man!




Until next week, my sincerest thanks that you make mine by folding on the felt with you.

Respectfully posted,

jjok

Fatty. Taco Bell shiller. BeanEater. Daddy of Jaybud.

Friday, April 25, 2008

Rusty

Haven't played cash in forever. Was chatting with Chad and watching him go deep in 5050 and 28K.....

Got bored, but wanted to watch.

So, being rusty, I jumped into a 25NL game just to have some fun.

And then a hand like this happens.....and you realize that there are some really donkass mofos out there.

And go ahead and chastise me for not C-betting the flop. The way these tards were playing, A2 woulda called me down.....

But then again, I'm kinda tarded "lately" (some say always) too, so there's an even balance between us.

Anyway......


*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to jjok [Kc Kd] --- Just waiting for the Ace to flop!
MORON calls $0.25
jjok raises to $1.10
... folds
... folds
... folds
... folds
MORON calls $0.85
*** FLOP *** [Qd Jc Ac] ---- Bingo!!!
MORON checks
jjok checks ------Weak
*** TURN *** [Qd Jc Ac] [9h]
MORON bets $2.55
jjok raises to $5.10 ------Note my kickass minraise!! Don't try this at home folks!! Maybe he'll fold
MORON calls $2.55 ------Nope
*** RIVER *** [Qd Jc Ac 9h] [Jh]
MORON checks ------This was interesting to me
jjok bets $8 -------Only way to take down a 40BB pot worth a whopping, kickass 10$
MORON calls $8 ---------About to get fucked
*** SHOW DOWN ***
jjok shows [Kc Kd] two pair, Kings and Jacks
MORON mucks
jjok wins the pot ($27.35) with two pair, Kings and Jacks
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot $28.75
Board: [Qd Jc Ac 9h Jh]
Seat 3: MORON mucked [Td 9s] - two pair, Jacks and Nines
Seat 4: jjok showed [Kc Kd] and won ($27.35) with two pair, Kings and Jacks


4th pair on a paired board......wow.

Thursday, April 24, 2008

L O S T

A, number 1, Grade A classed fucked up show.

Wow.

Moook

As always, thanks for hosting Mooooookie! 9 days to debauchery. Wurd.

And congrats to PL for the win!


As has been typical of my smallish return to poker, I played fairly weak tight and couldn't hit the broad side of a barn.

Typical late game play without chips and I was toast. If the stacks were bigger, I push my opponent off second pair. But his second pair had a better kicker than my second pair and that's all she wrote.

Sucks big donkey balls.


Anyway, won the buyin back via Razz cash games.

I'd say w00t, but that's a pretty pathetic time when you win you're buyin with Razz......

Anyway......



Until next post, my sincerest thanks that you make mine by folding on the felt with you.

Respectfully posted,

jjok

Weak tight. Razz monster. Second pair overplayer. American.

PS - Blow.

PSS - Now a certified B-Lister from the man himself.....I think

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Tom Foolery

Playing in a satellite. You are in a money spot with 5500 chips. 20 people left, 9 paid, 6 seats. You are in 9th place.

The blinds are 250/500.

You have QTo in the BB and it's folded to the Button. The button has seen 20% of the flops. He has 3500 chips.

He pushes.

What do you do?



----------------------------------



You're in a 6max turbo tournament. 24 spots pay and you're in 20th place with 45 remaining.

You have 6K in chips.

You have K6 of diamonds on the button. and the blinds are 300/600.

It's folded to the SB who has 4500. He open pushes.

What do you do?



-----------------------


In case you are wondering, that was me pushing.......and I guess my complaint is that both people called.

I find that maddening.

On the first hand I had AK.

On the second hand I had TT.

And I lost.....but that's beyond the point. I am not results oriented in this.

I repeat, I am not results oriented.

Again, not results oriented.

jjok <----- <>results oriented.

Please stop saying that.



I just have serious questions as to why anyone would risk a HUGE hunk of their stacks in the late game of a tourney with some VERY mediocre cards.

It's a question I constantly debate in a tourney......having to make the call. I don't see how I could have possibly done it in these situations, but obviously I think differently than others.

Helluvalot easier to puuuussssh.

Helluvalot harder to call.




Until next post, my sincerest thanks that you make mine by folding on the felt with you.

Respectfully posted,

jjok

Medium Height. Aging. Tired. Daddy of 4.

PS - Blow.