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In general, I'm not much of a book reader........

I read a ton of stuff every day and try to take in as much as I can, but books generally don't do it for me. I'm a victim of the internet, what can I say.

Anyway, I've dedicated myself to a new venture on the book front..........

You see, the movie is to come out soon and I want to read this prior to viewing it, because it looks like a potentially fantastic flicker.

I've NEVER gotten into comics, even as a kid. So this will be a first.

The bro-in-law (partner in crime for guy movies at the theater) and I have already got 3 movies that are must sees this year.

Transformers 2

GI Joe

Watchmen

On those days, I remove my testes from the jar the wife keeps them in, and pay my 10$ to see movies that I otherwise would have to wait for their video release. It's my reprieve from the endless amount of chickflicks and bullshit kiddy videos involving princesses, fuzzy animals, and recycled Nickelodeon/Disney characters........

And as for the book, I'm going to make that effort to understand before I go. And there's a good reason.

My bro-in-law is a comic book kid. He was infatuated with Spiderman. I went and saw the first Spiderman movie and saw how into the movie he was.....following the storyline he had memorized from the endless rereading he did of his comics.

Here's hoping I can get the same from this book.

Fladunk! LDOF! Google Maps Rock!

A friend of mine from here in in Houston told me he saw something funny on Google Maps. He told me to look up Hazleton, PA and zoom in on the football field.


So I looked it up and here's the satellite view.



Anyway, being from Pennsylvania, I had to ask my PA IM buddy, Riggs, about the town. Riggs told me that Hazleton is just a little town a couple hundred miles from Philly and that Jack Palance was from there.


Jack Palance? Really? Cool......


So anyway, I zoomed in a little bit towards the football field......and dammit if that doesn't look like a picture of a penis on that there football field. (Click pic and you'll see what I mean)


That's awesome right there.......very creative.









Let's zoom in some more..... Click that picture below........

Holy shitballs! Look at that shit right there! Jack has his junk on Waffles forehead man!

PAL! PAL! PAL! HAHAHA!! (first time bloggers, always link yourself in your posts)

That's embarrassing man! Dude's peg is draped right over your skullcap man! You got LDOF'd man! Limp Dicked On Forehead!

Mushroom meets forehead right there!

Wow!

Dude, totally embarrassing for Waffles right there!

And check that shit out! There's Al!!! Al's laughing at him and shit! Holy shit. Al's totally laughing at Waffles man! Embarrassing man! Embarrassing!

And Jack's just playing it cool too! Smoking a stogie while resting the hog over Waffles' head!

Jack's totally fladunking him good! Thump, thump, thump! Waffles gonna have some dong marks on his forehead!

Head on head action right there!

And man, Al's just eating that shit up too man! Totally laughing at Waffles! Just totally laughing at him!

Worst.....day....ever for the Waffleman because Jack's slapping his forehead! Hell, even the Jack is laughing at him too!

Freaking Jack loves some manboobs man!

Thump, thump, thump!

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Ok, cut me some slack.....I was bored tonight, so I virtually LDOF'd Waffles using Jack Palance........

2nd Post of the Night! I'm on a Roll......

Wow, 2 posts in one night. I guess I'm inspired or something.....

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So there's this dude out there named Steven "the all-knowing-tell-everyone-what-to-do guy" Kotler. I read an article about him today that I found interesting.

The gyst is simple. The world is overpopulated and we need to do something about it.

Here's what the guy says according to the article.

Steven Kotler has declared that responsible adults should stop having children in order to save the planet. Those who are having kids, are being selfish and stealing from the future, the rest of humanity, and “every living thing on the earth,” he wrote. Have too many kids and you should go to jail.

OOOOOkay, Stevieboy! If that's the case, lock me up for my 4 wonders. I mean, I understand the concern, but I think that's a little bit on the extreme......Now if he's making a point, well, I guess I can take it. But then he follows it up with something even better.......

The money quote......

“You think the economy is bad now – wait a few years,” Kotler said. “Wait until we’re almost completely out of oil and food and water and available land ... we need to lose 4.4 billion people and we need to lose them fast."

WTF dude? 4.4 billion? How the hell did you come up with that number? And why is it so direct? Not 4 billion, not 5 billion, hell not even a straight percentage like 75%!!!

4.4 billion!


Oh, and FAST! Like, RIGHT NOW! Gotta get rid of 4.4 billion people......STAT.

How in God's green earth do you plan to pull that one off?


jjok thoughts on the how....
1. Rent all the cruiseliners and offer free trips. Then push the poor souls off the boat into the middle of the Pacific Ocean and make them shark food.
2. Air drop them into Antarctica without wool socks or ear muffs.
3. Drop them into that Outback in Australia and let them eat each other up until they are gone.
4. Have them proofread one of Waffles posts (head explosion in 97% of cases)


But in all seriousness, that's just one fucked up thought. How to rid the world of 70% of it's population?

You know, there would be a lot more resources per capita......but of course you wouldn't have enough people to do anything about it.....

And you know who would get creamed in all this?

Apple!

Because then you wouldn't have enough folks to buy your 16th generation iPoood to warrant Apple needing to make a 17th generation.


Crazy.........

Know Your Opponent and Shut Your Mouth

Holy cripes! jjok with a poker post? NFW duderrrrr!!!!!!!

Fun hand tonight at a 6max table.

I had 88 in the 2nd position (or UTG+1 or EP or wtf ever). I raised and the button came along for the ride.

Flop is 78T. Got my set. Possible straight out there.

I bet pot, the guy calls.

Turn is a 3.

I bet 3/4 pot, guy calls. Ughs???

Here's where it gets interesting.

The river is a 7, boating me up. Now only TT and 77 beat me.

I look at the guys stats and see a glaring thing. He's got a massive aggression factor on the river. In other words he bets the rivers really hard......dur.

So what do you do here? The pot is pretty good size. You've got a super river aggro who's got position on you and you have a hand that you will go the distance with?

I understand a value bet. Getting something for your hand. But what do you bet here that doesn't scare away a top pair hand? Half the pot? 3/4 pot? Push for the OBFV?

None of the above..........

I just checked.

Yes, I checked.

I tapped my imaginary finger on the virtual felt and hoped the guy would do the work for me.

And work, he did.........

I figured that it was worth it to see if he would go after the pot. I mean, his calling me down sure looked like a draw to me. If he missed the draw, he's not calling anything anyway. Add in his aggro river factor, and I figured it was worth a shot.

What does he do? He bets the pot and I smack him with a checkraise allin......about a perfect setup situation based on his history.

He called with AT and I doubled up.



Of course, he lit into me for checkraising the river. Saying that it's dumb to do that, yadda yadda.

I just kind of laughed it off, it's been a while since I got some good banter slanted towards me......so I just soaked it in.


Eventually, I gave him a big PAL, typed in BLOW and told him to go suck an egg. (Bloggin 101, always link yourself and shit)



So there's my "Holy Cripes, jjok is talking poker!!" post.......

HAHAHA!!! PAL!!!

I've had low points in my life, but today I reached a temporary low.......one which will haunt me for many days to come. I'm fine now, but at 8:53 this morning, I was absolutely AWFUL.

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Some background prior. An old colleague from work and I had come up with the ultimate insult acronym. It's the PAL.

What is PAL you might ask?

Why, PAL means "Point And Laugh"......of course!

It's usage is simple. And it's completely indefensible. It's like the force. But it's real and not all fake and shit.

Someone fucks up bad, is dejected, at their lowest of lows, and you pull off the PAL. Simple.


Examples of usage (hypotheticals of course but always a possibility with this clan and I'm AWESOME at examples in my own mind):

1. Riggs gets kicked in the nuts accidentally by one of his brood after having his junk disconnected, you pull off the PAL so he sees it.

2. Kurt Warner's fumble on the second to last play of the Super Bowl is overturned. He then throws a 45 yard TD to Fitz and Cardinals win. BuddyDank, Pokerwolf, and Mean Gene are beside themselves in the corner of the room, crying at the loss. PAL, followed by possible poking them in the arm a few times just to give it some emphasis.

3. Mookie is putting a 3 footer to tie it up at the WAM golf tournament and pulls it enough to lip out. You pull off the PAL right in front of his face. Then you make him putt it out.

4. Don negotiates buying himself a hooker named Passion and is getting all hot and heavy with mugging and heavy petting at the bar with the chick when he finds out it's actually a transvestite prostitute who's real name is Diego and he works as a mail clerk for the DPS or something for his day job. Oh, and he drives a white Miata and celebrates the entire collections of Linda Ronstadt and Ace of Base. That's an immediate PAL right there followed by a quick trip to CVS for mouthwash and a scrubbrush.


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Anyway, back to 8:53AM today........

Dropped wifey off at work, and drove to my parking garage. I got out of the garage to walk to my building.

While walking across a major street, I tripped on the cobblestone walkway. This isn't one of those immediate things either. This is one of those trips where you fall forward like 10 feet, trying to catch yourself, and then at the very end you face plant. Which is like 10 times more awful then just an immediate fall.
And face plant I did. Right in the middle of one of the busier intersections downtown.........primetime.

Excellent job jjok. (reminder, always link yourself)

Embarrassed? Hell yes, but I'll survive. Or so I thought.

Because right then and there, in all it's glory, I experienced the worst thing in recent memory.

3 homeless dudes saw the whole thing. And for that one moment, I was socially beneath 3 dudes who were eating yesterdays subway sandwiches from the trash can, with now flourescent yellow mayo and small hints of dirt that now pepper the bread.


And they threw out the most damning PAL ever.......after wiping off their mouths from their trash can booty.


Yes, I was the butt of the joke for 3 homeless dudes who probably hadn't seen a shower since the Clinton administration.

Awful.......

Just Fantastic

That was a great game to watch, and will probably be regarded as one of the best Super Bowls played. I have no vested interest in the teams involved. I just wanted a good game and I got exactly that.

I'm not an expert at football, but I sure as hell know the rules of the game and have watched enough to know the hows and whats. I think that I have a good vision for the 22 men on the field and not just 3 or 4.

That said, I have to say this to make my peace.

That was about the worst officiated Super Bowl that I can remember. Awful calls. Awful no-calls. It was like watching an NBA game where people are dumbfounded trying to figure out what was a foul and what was "all-ball".

In the end, I do believe the better team won. But there was some pretty massive Pitt bias in that game to make me cringe every time I saw the yellow flag litter the field.

Larry Fitzgerald? Ultimate badass.

Kurt Warner? Proved he's a warrior....and that surprised me some.

Big Ben? Clutch when it counts.

Santonio Holmes? Playmaker.


Officials? Just fucking awful.