Jacks R OK

Hi. Addictive Little Diddy

noreply@blogger.com (jjok) — Wed, 02 Dec 2009 18:22:00 +0000

Remember the Mickey Mouse song? Of course you do!

M-I-C
K-E-Y
M-O-U-S-E

It's catchy, somewhat.

Now replace that little jingle with new words.

Clean-the-balls
Clean-the-balls
And-the-tushy-hole

You have just been introduced to JJ's new bath time song that he's been rocking the last few weeks....much to the chagrin of my inlaws and proper wife.

Vegas in 8 days!

We Gather Here Today....in Vegas

noreply@blogger.com (jjok) — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 21:45:00 +0000

Thank you Continental miles for same mileage for first class.....

That's right punks (all 3 of you who still check in on me)

I'm Vegas bound Dec 10

Flight Details:
Depart:
7:30 p.m.
Thu., Dec. 10, 2009
Houston, TX (IAH - Intercontinental) Arrive:
9:03 p.m.
Thu., Dec. 10, 2009
Las Vegas, NV (LAS) Travel Time:
3 hr 33 mn Flight: CO297
Aircraft: Boeing 737-800
Fare Class: First (I)
Meal: Snack
No Special Meal Offered

POKER!!! First Time in Forever

noreply@blogger.com (jjok) — Sun, 18 Oct 2009 04:43:00 +0000

2 tournies 2nite.

First one, I had 88 and called a raise. Flop was A89 and I got allin against 99.

Standard.

Then I went deep in a turbo 5$ 6max tourney. Finished 19th outta like 350 folks.

Here's the exit.....it's a beauty!!!! Woulda been chipleader if Aces held. But they were no match for big slick on that muthafucking flop bitches!!!

Full Tilt Poker Game #15411512278: $5 + $0.50 Tournament (112832588), Table 1 - 1500/3000 Ante 400 - No Limit Hold'em - 0:39:47 ET - 2009/10/18
Seat 1: fourkingtwo (15,197)
Seat 2: mr kurt (60,347)
Seat 3: aceemorfaceem (40,068)
Seat 5: buster_brown72 (27,005)
Seat 6: jjok (47,034)
fourkingtwo antes 400
mr kurt antes 400
aceemorfaceem antes 400
buster_brown72 antes 400
jjok antes 400
buster_brown72 posts the small blind of 1,500
jjok posts the big blind of 3,000
The button is in seat #3
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to jjok [As Ad]
fourkingtwo folds
mr kurt raises to 59,947, and is all in
aceemorfaceem folds
buster_brown72 folds
jjok calls 43,634, and is all in
mr kurt shows [Ah Kd]
jjok shows [As Ad]
Uncalled bet of 13,313 returned to mr kurt
*** FLOP *** [Jh Ks Kh]
*** TURN *** [Jh Ks Kh] [3s]
*** RIVER *** [Jh Ks Kh 3s] [6c]
mr kurt shows three of a kind, Kings
buster_brown72: lol
jjok shows two pair, Aces and Kings
mr kurt wins the pot (96,768) with three of a kind, Kings
jjok: sick
jjok stands up
fourkingtwo stands up
mr kurt stands up
aceemorfaceem stands up
buster_brown72 stands up
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot 96,768 | Rake 0
Board: [Jh Ks Kh 3s 6c]
Seat 1: fourkingtwo folded before the Flop
Seat 2: mr kurt showed [Ah Kd] and won (96,768) with three of a kind, Kings
Seat 3: aceemorfaceem (button) folded before the Flop
Seat 5: buster_brown72 (small blind) folded before the Flop
Seat 6: jjok (big blind) showed [As Ad] and lost with two pair, Aces and Kings

Weekend

noreply@blogger.com (jjok) — Mon, 05 Oct 2009 16:22:00 +0000

So I shipped the girls to Dallas for the weekend and kept JJ at home. And everything pretty much sucked except for an awesome Saturday night.

8 hours of yardwork. Including hauling 500 pounds of sand and about 1000 pounds of pond stones to fill a section of the yard that was overcome with about three 39 gallon trash bags worth of brush, weeds, and sticky shit that wouldn't come off my socks.

The Cowboys lost.

The Aggies got their asses handed to them.

I lost all 3 fantasy football games.

It rained like crazy.

I ate horribly and gained like 3 pounds.

My back and legs are destroyed.

So, my question to you. How was your weekend?

Fuck you very much.

What About Poker?

noreply@blogger.com (jjok) — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 14:48:00 +0000

Lotsa stuff going on in the jjok house the last month or 2. Some good, some meh. So my apologies for not posting more often.......apologies to all 3 or 4 of you.

Did I mention that I played poker last week? The only time I've played in the last 6 or 7 weeks.

Anyway, I was at a 100nl table just having some fun when I had another of those WTF moments.

Queens in the BB. Folded to the fullstack button who pots it to 3.50. Then the sb with 20$ jams. Now in spots where calling a shortstack jam with queens, it's almost always a nobrainer. However, the guy on the button left to act is solid, so you have to be at least a little weary. My luck lately would give him kings and make my life hell. So I simply called. If he jams I might dump.....yes he is good enough for me to do that.

The button did indeed fold and I was heads up against K5 off. And the king rolls off on the river.

FML.

I sat there for a minute and pondered about what was the point. Why stress? I mean, I win that situation like 75% of the time?

It's a big part of why I've been absent. Sometimes the decisions are made for you and it's up to your luck to pull you through. What can you do?

It seems lately that I've struggled with alot of things in my life and I find myself desiring to have more control..... or at least the perception of control because we truly can't have that absolute. Not happening. No way. It's just not how the good Lord intended it.

Anyway, I played another 15 minutes or so, and busted a 3/4 stack guy with a flopped set of ducks against kings. Flop was 832.

Now how do you think that guy felt when I came way over the top of his potsized c-bet on the flop? He thought he had it in the bag. And it cost him 75$ in the end.

No control.....and I see no way he gets away from that hand.

I logged off that night with a nice 50$ profit for 30 minutes of play on a lone table. I'll take it, but it shoulda been 100$.

Oh well.

I'll play more for sure. I've yanked alot off the site after the BBT win, but left myself ample room to maybe make a fun run of it in the future. Just not yet.

15 pounds.......buhbye. And more to come.

Brother In Law

noreply@blogger.com (jjok) — Tue, 22 Sep 2009 00:13:00 +0000

Found out that my brother in law found my blog. He has left some various anonymous comments over the last few months. Really weird ones but still.

Anyway, this one is for you Uncle W.

Your sister has the most awesome rack......and i've touched them alot.

Stick that in your pipe and smoke it.

Roadhouse Synopsis in Under 5 Minutes. RIP Patrick Swayze.

noreply@blogger.com (jjok) — Tue, 15 Sep 2009 04:10:00 +0000

Cross posted at Filmchaw.

Patrick Swayze passed away today at the age of 57. RIP Mr Swayze......

Here's a tribute post I wrote in March of 2008 that I never published.

Have fun.......

-----------------------------------

Big fan of "Guy Movies". TNT does their "Movies for guys who like movies" stuff and they are usually dead on with their selections.

And Patrick Swayze was diagnosed with cancer.......here's hoping he recovers.

So, this post is dedicated to him and will cover one of the greatest guy movies ever.

Roadhouse.

And today, and only today, I, jjok will give a synopsis of this movie for your reading enlightenment.

So here we go, Roadhouse in 5 minutes or less of reading.

Bartender, named Dalton, flowing locks of hair, badass. Called by small podunk town bar-owner. Owner needs to clean up his joint.
Dalton takes the job.

Dalton specs out the place. Notes the problem workers and keeps a low profile because he is a badass.
Holds meeting with workers
"I thought he'd be bigger"
you don't have to be bigger when you have flowing locks of hair
"Be nice until it's time to not be nice."
"What if some guy calls my momma a whore?"
"Is she?"

Dalton doesn't want patrons to fuck with his mercedes, so he buys a jelopy at the local used car joint. Light covers still work too.
He buys 4 spare tires.

He lives in a barn.....upstairs......
He sleeps naked in the non air conditioned barn
With farm animals.

He goes to work on first night.
Catches a worker doggying a 17 year old......instead of watching the dude finish her off, fires him instead
"You're gonna be my saturday night special"
"Oh Stevie"
"But I'm on my break!!!"
"Stay on it"

Dalton has his arms crossed, leaning on a post, sipping coffee.
Sees a bottle being thrown at him.
He slightly moves his head and lets it shatter on the post. Arms never uncross.
Badass.

........Classic barbouncer move cometh
Dalton takes guy by the back of the head and slams it into table.
The table breaks perfectly in a line thus breaking the table in two
Dalton pulls the guys head back up.
Dalton then quickly jerks his head, causing his flocks of hair to fly.
"Escort this gentleman to the door"
"Did you see that shit?"
"Tha names.....Dalton" says the blind Jeff Healey playing the guitar behind the steal cage to protect him.
Future bad guy's whore girlfriend now likes Dalton.

After bar closes, someone knifes all 4 of Dalton's tires? No problem! That's why he bought 4 spares!
And he just laughs about it while rolling up the sleeves to change the tires.
Gets home to his barn, looks out accross the lake from his window to see naked swim parties every night.
This party-thrower will be the badguy.

Next night, he gets a stab wound while working.
He goes to the hospital.
Doctor is hottie, and notices his stitches on his arm.
"Nice work."
"Thanks."
Dalton also carries around his medical chart.
"For your line of work....I thought you'd be bigger"
"I get that alot"
Invite her to come to bar for some coffee.

Focus shift now......
Next night, meets bad guy in person, who has hired some of the fired workers.
They start a brawl.
Dalton wins, like he's supposed to.

Bad Guy makes henchmen "invite" Dalton to breakfast. Bad Guy's whore girlfriend doing aerobics in the next room...she has a black eye
Dalton now meets his nemesis......another badass.

Bad Guy starts to do bad guy things like destroying car dealerships. Nemesis helps out.
"Hope you have insurance"

Dalton calls his buddy, asking him to help out.
Old guy with bad knees is Dalton's buddy...he's got to call Dalton "Miho" which is short for amigo.
Relationship with doctor girl filler which is now unimportant.

Bad Guy doesn't like Dalton. Neither does the Nemesis.
Dalton fighting with girlfriend. Hears explosion at barn-owners normal house.

Key move here.......
Dalton jumps out of the window of his upstairs barn apartment........because there is a likelihood he will land in a haystack, roll off it, and continue running without skipping a beat
Oh, and without a shirt.
And no shoes.
Saves old guys life.
Sees Nemesis on motorcycle that caused the explosion.
Dalton runs after him, and knocks him off the motorcycle.
Fight ensues.
Nemesis says to Dalton....."I used to fuck guys like you in prison"
Dalton, amidst the frucus, finds a way to climb a small rock, jump off it, and land a successful kick on Nemesis.
Nemesis pulls out gun, knowing he can't win.
Dalton able to kick it away.
Dalton holds out his hand with pointing finger, middle finger, and thumb extended ready to rip out Nemesis's throat...
Looks like he is about to throw a curveball......
And he does rip out the throat.
Then after does a spin kick to Nemesis's midsection and let's Nemesis fall face first into a pond.
Girlfriend sees it, confirms Nemesis is dead, and is now ultra pissed at Dalton.

Dalton calls buddy to tell them they are leaving this town.
Buddy says cool.
Buddy killed by Bad Guy by a big Bowie Knife.
Dalton pissed.

Dalton executes a perfect plan which can truly only be done in a movie.....or if you are a badass.......

Using the Bowie knife that killed his friend, it navigates his mercedes towards the Bad Guys house. The car hits a perfectly timed jump, causing the car to do a corkscrew in the air.......there is a guy waiting with a shotgun ready to shoot the gastank......causing the whole thing to blow up.
But Dalton isn't in the car.
The shotgun guy is the owner of the knife and retrieves it. Duh Duh Dunnnnnn.

Dalton beats up all the henchman.
Stuffed polar bears are scary.
Bad Guy has Dalton on ropes.
Three old country men with 6'-0" long shotguns shoot Bad Guy.
Bad Guy does the Nestea Plunge into glass coffee table after said gentlemen with insanely long shotguns ventilated his midsection
Cops show up.
What happened.
"I didn't see anything."
Henchman says "Polar Bear fell on me"

Dalton swims with hottie Doctor naked in the scummy pond out back.

THE END

------------------

Again rest in peace Patrick Swayze, and thanks for those movies of yours that I enjoyed......

Pudge!!!

noreply@blogger.com (jjok) — Tue, 18 Aug 2009 19:42:00 +0000

Pudge Rodriguez is coming back to the Rangers! I'm thrilled by it.

I met Pudge once in 1999 and will post the story tonight...... And yes there is toilet humor involved that is 100% true......

But for now let me just say that I'm thrilled....

First Film Review

noreply@blogger.com (jjok) — Tue, 18 Aug 2009 03:33:00 +0000

Posted my first film review at Filmchaw. Go take a look and tell me if I'm off base.....

Thanks.

-jjok

PS

noreply@blogger.com (jjok) — Tue, 18 Aug 2009 00:38:00 +0000

CK alone is justification to go to Vegas.

Vegas Gathering?

noreply@blogger.com (jjok) — Tue, 18 Aug 2009 00:02:00 +0000

I've been busy in life and at work.....so no posts for a while.

My apologies.

More to come from me in the near future but for now, one question.

Who is going to the gathering in Vegas in December?

Trying to figure out if I can manage it since I couldn't go last year. Just curious who I might find there.....

Food Options. Check This Shit Out

noreply@blogger.com (jjok) — Thu, 06 Aug 2009 02:59:00 +0000

I don't know how I haven't noticed this before. Every Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday I drop the wifey off at work since we both work downtown.

There's a restaurant near wifey's office, check it out.....

Bourays! Hoooray!!!

It's Mexican! No, it's Vietnamese! No it's Meximese Vietcan!

So me being jjok(always link yourself in your posts), I started thinking of possible menu items while making my way to the other side of downtown.

Came up with a menu, and let me tell you folks.....it's solid.

Love me some Mexican food. Love me some Vietnamese food.

The Bok Choy Burrito!
Filled with lots of Bok! Because nothing brings more choy to me than a good Bok! YUM!

The Carne Asada Springroll!
Uses rice paper and 3 scoops of lard!

The House Special.....Dog Cat!
Fried dog with boiled cat which captures the essence of both cuisines!

Rice Tamales!
Who needs chicken, pork, and beef when you have rice?!?!

Wok Fried Mexican Rice!
The orange wonder! A fan favorite!

Sweet and Sour Soup served with a Tortilla!
Because everything is better when it comes with a tortilla!

Barbacoa with Peanut Sauce!
Because if you're nutty enough to eat a goat's head, then you should drizzle over the peanut sauce!

Edimame Enchiladas!
For our Veggie lovers! Smothered in green sauce!

Cabbage Fajitas!
Another for our veggie lovers! You think fajitas make you fart? These will! I GUARANTEE IT!

Fish Con Queso!
Who needs fish con chips when you can get fish con cheese! Processed cheese! Kickass!

***All entrees served with a 2 scoop helping of lard infused refried beans and 2 tortillas made from 100% sticky rice.

Bonus!

Seriously, how the fuck is there a Mexican Vietnamese Restaurant?!?!

I guess I shouldn't poke fun, I'm trying to gather backers to open up a German Soul Food Restaurant. Was gonna call it Eina Kleina Soul Glow. Homemade bratwursts made from chitlins are the shit......trust me.

Nada

noreply@blogger.com (jjok) — Tue, 04 Aug 2009 05:52:00 +0000

Gonna lose some weight. First time I've ever tried. I am aiming for losing 125 pounds. That way I'll finally be under 300 for the first time since I was in junior high.

Here's hoping I reach my goal in under 2 months.

I am...... The bullshitter. I shit bulls. That's what happens when you weigh this much. You shit bulls. Proven fact, just ask Rosie O'Donnell. Or that Rerund guy from that old 70s show.

I make light of it all of course because I'm hoping it makes it easier for me to shed a few.

That and I'm having a hard time fitting in my thongs. Serious underwear lines through my workpants made me selfconscious throughout the day. That was The Suck.

And my manzierres aren't fitting any more either.

TRUTHERS!!! birthers.

noreply@blogger.com (jjok) — Mon, 03 Aug 2009 05:19:00 +0000

Man, have you all been hearing all these newscasts over the last week or so? It's like they are FILLED with convos regarding the TRUTHERS (9/11)!! Fascinating stuff!

and occasionally the birther stuff. (so insignificant % of newscasts that I didn't even capitalize it)

But man! The TRUTHERS! All over the place!

--- End sarcasm of media bias.

So a political exposure is in my midst in mentioning this. Blast away if you want, I pretty much understand what I believe and such.

I am not a Birther. I think the whole thing is pretty stupid, actually.....both the idea/belief and it's coverage over the last week or so.

I dug up about the Truther stuff and did find one poll through Rasmussen. It showed that in May of 2007, over a third of Democrats believed that GWB knew about the 9/11 attacks in advance.

Rosie O'Donnell has some company it seems.

I don't remember a lot of hoopla about this idea......call it media bias, or a truly nothing story.....

Oh, and it's Rasmussen. They lean Republican. Or something......

But which is really crazier? Or does it really matter, since both ideas are kinda dumb? I guess that leads to my point......

......people are nutty when their guys aren't in the driver's seat.

Jalapenos

noreply@blogger.com (jjok) — Tue, 28 Jul 2009 13:17:00 +0000

About 3 months ago we went through our annual pickling. We did about 30 quarts of pickles and I requested jalapenos......so we did those too.

I'm a spicy fan, putting Tabasco on just about everything. I love me some jalapenos.

I opened one of the jars last night. Pulled out a single slice. And holy fuckballs did imiscalculatr. They are practically uneatable with a heat index bordering on Chernoble.

And as for this morning? Let's just say o lost the purple o-ring in a massive exodus of the bowels.

A cool salve is in play......

I am jjok. I am of the toilet mind.

Reading

noreply@blogger.com (jjok) — Tue, 21 Jul 2009 13:14:00 +0000

My daughter, S, might have dyslexia and attention deficit disorder. She's been going to a physical therapist and a reading coach twice a week. We've seen MAJOR improvements in her reading since doing so, and are very happy.

Her reading coach is sponsored through the children's hospital here in Houston. Great credentials.

Every session, she's given a sheet of words that start with the same sound. Last week was GR and GL. Great, Glad, Grief, etc....

Well, a few weeks back, the words were SC and SK.

Take a close look at her worksheet, and tell me someone isn't playing a joke.

My father-in-law thought that was funny as hell and asked me if I knew what one was.

I just thought it was a shitty person.

Um, more than that.....

According to dictionary.com, it is the following.

1. a condom
2. a mean, dispicable person

I believe in teaching safe sex in schools but this is over the top.

After a call to the administration about this, I informed them that they forgot to include the words scrotum and skank.

Might as well give them the whole gamut.

ROCK ON!

Funniest Poker Advice Site.......Unintended.....It's Hilarious.....Must Read.

noreply@blogger.com (jjok) — Thu, 09 Jul 2009 06:58:00 +0000

I branched out some, looking at PotLimit Holdem. Needed some strategy to play it, since I'm not experienced in playing pot limit.

Came across this real doozy of a site and wanted to share.

It's kinda like reading some of Waffles's posts. Hell, maybe he gives the same advice.

First off, here's the link I came too. Title of the article is "How Pot Limit Holdem should be played?" So you would think that there would be some good tips right? I'm a little hesitant with the article since the title ends with a question mark. But I'll give it the benefit of the doubt.

Here's a few quotes to get you solid pot-limit strategy

"Getting enough stakes is a good way to start with playing pot limit holdem games. "

Got that? Need stakes.....Veeeeery important.

How about some basic flop play?

Considering a hand with A- Spade and 5 Spade in the starting hand; following the first round of betting if the player sees a flop like K-Spade, 8- Spade, and 3-clubs, you need to recognize that you are having a nut.

Ah, yes....the nut you are having. Good point Raghib. But what exactly is this nut I'm having?

To be clear with similar suits it turns out to be nut flush. With such a nut flush you are still not having anything truly materialistic.

Ahhh, ok, got it. So even if I have a nut, it's not materialistic.

jjok-wifey? Materialistic.

Nut? Not truly materialistic.

OK, so lets get to the grand finale of this "strategy guide" goldmine here. I can feel the dollars coming my way care of Mahmoud.

From the above illustration it should be clear that in Pot Limit Holdem with most of the result of the games are hidden in the starting hands and the flop. The turn and river in most cases have hands in the final finish and you cannot expect a major change without a good pre-flop and flop.

For such considerations, it is always wise to start building your pot-limit holdem stakes in your favor right from the beginning. The earlier you work towards winning, the better position you are in.

Thank you sir! You have now given me hope! I will build my stakes in my favor from the beginning. And early too! And now I know that the turn and river have that final finish.....whatever the fuck that may be.

Do you feel dumber? I do.

These guys have a whole host of article worth perusing if you feel suicidal and stuff.

Partake in their article "Games For Play Money Are Very Famous On The Net " where you get this little gem of advice.

These are poker games where no real cash is betted, and players simply play with fake, virtual chips however, the texas hold em poker rules should be Games for "play money" are very famous on the net.

Have fun figuring that one out. I just read it 3 times, and now I think my brain forgot how to make my lungs breath and my heart to beat.

And then this one......
Just the money is fake and not the texas hold em poker rules.

Solid.

And ........

Studying to shine at play money games will just assist you hit play money games and also to understand texas hold em poker rules and rules of other variants.

Yes, I will study to shine.

Or how about their article Poker Bonuses Are Not Peanuts Rather They Are Gigantic Pay Offs where they come right out of the batter's box with this gem.

Will you ever be interested in playing in a poker site which offers a poker bonus of $1 for every $100 you spend? Definitely no! You do not need peanuts for the many hundred dollars you invest in a site

Why hell no! Definitely No! I don't need peanuts! So why do they offer bonuses? AbuGharib has the answer.

it is for this reason poker bonuses are kept big and accessible only those smart players so that you feel smart and done after you have made it to win some bonuses.

Got it. Awesome! I'm now smart! I feel smart!

So anyway, check these d-bags out and get your laughs. Lots of great stuff to read through......if you can. It's MAGIC! It's not PEANUTS! SMART!

Birthday Prank Results

noreply@blogger.com (jjok) — Wed, 08 Jul 2009 11:46:00 +0000

OK, so how did the birthday prank go off on the girls? Some thought it was mean, I thought it was brilliant.

As a good friend told me, what I was doing here was collecting an "interest payment at the Bank of Daddy".

Well said, sir, well said.

First off, my daughter, A, wrote me a letter the night before which I forgot to include.....the picture sucks, but you get the idea.....

What it said was this...typos included.

We don't whont pantes and bathroom stuff and bathtub stuff.
This is from A.

Excellent.......

---------------------------------

ON TO THE CIRCUS!

We decided to use gift bags instead of leaving it out on the table. The fear was that they would run down before we could get a chance to take pics......soooooo

Needless to say, they were not at all happy.

It's funny. 3 little girls. Triplets. 3 totally different reactions. It's a thing of beauty really because it truly shows the difference in personalities and how they react to certain situations.

So here's the reactions......

-----------------------------------

Daughter A just pouted from the second she pulled out her shampoo bottle......

-----------------------------------

Daughter E was just about in tears when she noticed what her sisters were getting. She was almost afraid to look in her bag. Crocodile tears welling up in her eyes......big fat ones in fact.

-----------------------------

And Daughter S went through a progressive phase.

It started with shock. A glance over to her sisters as if to say "Is this for real?" "Did I really just get a bottle of Dove Conditioner for my birthday?"

This was by far my favorite picture.

--------------------------------------------

Daughter S then migrated over to her pissed off stage, proclaiming "I told you I didn't want Toilet Stuff for my birthday! I told you that! You didn't listen!"

Classic!

-----------------------------------------

We figured we'd give it about 3 minutes before giving them their real gifts. But then we realized it was getting late and we had to get ready for work. So we decided to give them their real presents that night.

Ok, that's just mean, I'm joking.

We did give them the high school musical toys after a couple of minutes and told them they were getting a "BIG" gift after dinner that is from Grammy and Popsie too. That was the DS's

In the end, I think they were happy with their birthday.......

Happy BDay to my little girls! 6 years!!!!

Insane Hand I Wasn't In

noreply@blogger.com (jjok) — Mon, 06 Jul 2009 05:07:00 +0000

Arguably one of the weirdest fucking hands I've seen in a long while. What you have here is allin on the flop.

Sooooo

TT thinks he has a chance. 77 is foaming at the mouth begging for action, as is 88.

They get allin.

77 is dejected.....TT is kicking himself for falling for it.

Then the turn brings a T! Salvation for TT!

And then the river brings the last 7. And the dejected guy comes homes with the winning quads.

PAL! PAL!

Convos with Daughters.....B-Day Style.......And a Prank on Them....HAHAHA

noreply@blogger.com (jjok) — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 04:03:00 +0000

The girls turn 6 on Thursday! It's hard to imagine. They're getting big.

And they's old enough for a good old fashioned jjok-style prank.......and shockingly, the wifey participated in the prank.

First off, here's a pic of them when they did a Breast Cancer walk with the wife.......

Getting BIG!

Anyway, the girls have been wanting Nintendo DS's for their birthday. We've been downplaying the purchase, telling them that they are too expensive....yadda yadda.

I started a convo with them on Wednesday night about their birthday and what they were getting.

Here I am at the dinner table talking to S, A, and E.

jjok: So what are you girls wanting for your birthday?
SAE: NINTENDO DS!
jjok: Girls, that's kind of expensive. Maybe we should wait for Santa to....
S: No! Mommy said she was thinking of getting us Nintendo DS!
E: Yeah! And the pink ones!
A: I want a game with princesses in it!
jjok: Well, girls, money is tight around the world right now. It's probably best if we waited to get them........
SAE: NO!!!
S: But mommy said!
A: Yeah, she did!
E: And it has to be the pink ones!
jjok: Well, girls. I think we should focus this birthday on things you need. Your underwear and socks are getting pretty worn, and you're needing new ones. Plus, you're running low on toiletries.
SAE: NO!

--------------

And some faint tears came to their faces.

Then while I was giving them their bath. Yes, they still bathe together.

jjok: OK, girls, I gotta do your hair. Hey, it looks like we're running low on shampoo. Thank God your birthday is tomorrow.
SAE: NO!!!!
E: Mommy said you were full of beans! (that's their way of saying you are lying/joking)
A: Yeah! We don't want shampoo!
S: Or conditioner too!
jjok: OOO, good call S. Yep, we're running short on conditioner too.
SAE: NO!!!!!

---------

this exchange was followed with a nervous laugh. The seeds of doubts of Nintendo DS bliss is finally getting to them it seems. Can I pull up the trifecta.

Time to brush teeth.

jjok: Man, your toothbrushes are starting to fray. Thank God it's your birthday tomorrow.
SAE: NO!
S: Why do you keep saying that! Stop saying that!
E: Yeah, I don't like you saying that! Stop it! You're full of beans!
A: I don't want a new toothbrush for my birthday! I just don't!
jjok: Oh, lookee there. The toothpaste is running low too. Thank God tomorrow is your birthday.
SAE: NO!
S: Stop it Daddy! Stop it! We don't want toilet stuff for our birthday! Why do you keep saying that!
A: My toothbrush is fine, Daddy! Look at it, it's fine! I can still use it! I don't want a new one!
E: YOU'RE.....FULL.....OF......BEANS!

And with that, E stomps outta the bathroom with a solid pout going on.

----------------------------------

So I'm trying to get them to bed. They're almost in tears. I tell them that I was joking. That mommy got them some gifts and I don't know what they are. That they will be at their places on the dinner table when they get up in the morning.

And here's where the prank comes into play.

Say hello to our kitchen table for July 2nd, 2009......in all it's glory.

That's right, bitches. A 3 pack of underwear, a pair of socks, and a toothbrush. Follow that up with a bottle of shampoo, a bottle of conditioner, and a tube of Dr. Seuss toothpaste.

Should be a fun morning.

And for those of you that want to call me out on this. Let me let you in on something.

They are getting the Nintendo DS's with a total of 3 games which they will share. Final price tag for 3 DS's and 3 games? Just around 600$. And they're getting some "High School Musical" bullshit to go with it too.

So don't feel so bad about it, mkay?

I think I'll give it about 30 seconds to 1 minute before giving them the real stuff.

hahahaha.

Man I can't wait for the morning.

Greg Mankiw

noreply@blogger.com (jjok) — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 18:32:00 +0000

I've always found Greg Mankiw to be a fun read.

Point to ponder if it weren't completely impossible

Here’s what I’d do if Bill Gates was willing to lend me $3.57 billion dollars for a day: I’d go to Vegas and put $5 million on numbers 1 through 34 on the roulette wheel. The odds are roughly 90% I’d win. If I did so, I’d win $180 million on a bet of $170 million. I repay the $3.57 billion and pocket my $10 million dollars and be rich for the rest of my life, clipping coupons. If numbers 35, 36, 0, or 00 came up I’d bet again, this time $100 million on each number 1 through 34. If I won, I’d receive $3.6 billion, repay Gates, and have $30 million dollars to spend for the rest of my life. The odds are nearly 99% that I’d win one of these two bets. Of course if both failed, I’d be in big trouble. But that’s not very likely is it?

The Debate

noreply@blogger.com (jjok) — Thu, 25 Jun 2009 15:57:00 +0000

I still struggle with the whole "how to play AK to a reraise in a cash game".

I understand the notion of knowing your opponent. It's just the reality of knowing AK is so vulnerable.

Last I found 3 or 4 times where I reraised with slick and was faced with either a push or another reraise. My tendency right off the bat is to dump it and move on. Weak? Most likely. Going allin pre with kings or aces is easy....not so much with AK.

B-b-but they're s0000ted!!!!

Fun Poker

noreply@blogger.com (jjok) — Thu, 25 Jun 2009 08:45:00 +0000

Haven't had one of these since before the Bammer was prez.......

And didn't get paid on it at all......but a good night overall (albeit all over the place)

Weird

noreply@blogger.com (jjok) — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 12:36:00 +0000

I always laugh when I look at these stats for a short period of time where I play a ton.......makes me wonder why I bitch so much.

Short sample for just over a week of 4 and 6 tabling 100NL.

What's funny is the top 2 spots are my biggest nemesis hands. I've talked countlessly about how much I loathe seeing Queens and Big Slick.

And yet JJ is no where to be found in the leaderboard

AKo is ok? Hello, my name is AKoffok.

Throw in an offsuit SuperDonkey at number 7 and I just giggle even more.

Been a topsy turvey ride for me over the last week with a new roll. Easily over 200$ in rakeback alone. Just what I need......bringing the addiction back and playing a shitload of poker.

Time To Clear The Air.......Poker.......TOC

noreply@blogger.com (jjok) — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 06:18:00 +0000

Long post cometh.......

First off, for your enjoyment. Guy at one of my tables tonight(yes, they are mine) was going off after I almost stacked him on a turned straight (had flush and gutterball draw on the flop). He rivered a set of Kings and went off on his bad luck and cooler river.

To protect him, I changed his name in the chat that I copied.

We'll call him FUCKNUT........Here's his wisdom with all the Hand History garbage taken out.

FUCKNUT: ive gone straigh through 1k without being up more than 75$
FUCKNUT: mathamaticaly thats almost impossible
---Sidenote......HAHAHAH FUCKNUT! IMPOSSIBLE! PAL! PAL!(link yourself always)
FUCKNUT: they just rotate the money slowley to non americans so they dont have to deal with tax law
FUCKNUT: they love the customers who have ewallet and the other online means that cost nothing
FUCKNUT: fedeex costs them a @%#%load
FUCKNUT: not to mention the processors
FUCKNUT: which get busted weekley
FUCKNUT: the premium on the moneylaundering charege is hefty
FUCKNUT: thats what happened to the sportsbooks
FUCKNUT: believe me, if the IRS had a millitary wing, all of full tilt staff would b dead
FUCKNUT: their algorithms are set to make maximum money (rake) out of maximum customers
FUCKNUT: If they were all wiped away in a day I wouldnt blink
FUCKNUT: your hand was good, its the consistentcy that they place hands that are of equal or close strength
FUCKNUT: causing huge pots
FUCKNUT: well hey FT #!$# YOU YOUR A SCAM
FUCKNUT: and I have no problem telling the FBI the names of your processors
Dealer: FUCKNUT wins the pot ($177)

After winning that solid pot at the end there, he stayed quiet. Funny how that works

......anyway

----------------------------------------------

My apologies for not getting to this subject sooner. Some quizzed about it, I've kept silent here for the most part.

I won the TOC. I am not playing in the Main Event.

There. Critique all you want. Or agree with what I say here because those first few days after winning were a lot rougher on me emotionally than I thought it would be.

--------------------------

I always maintained that winning a seat to the ME woulda meant that I would pocket the cash, regardless if I won it through the 650$ sate's or through a freeroll thing like the one setup by Al. I have maintained that position from Day 1 of all these BBT things.

I never in my life thought I would actually be faced with that dilemma if you can call it that.

During the TOC, I played 2 tournies.

2.

Both of them were Mookie's. I always love playing the Mook. When I won it on April 1st, which was my first tourney in the BBT4, I found it funny. 2 outta 3 (BBT2 and 4) of the winner invitationals ain't too shabby considering I really didn't participate in the BBT3 at all.

You see, I think the BBT turned me off some of the blogger tournies. Not because I didn't want to play, but mostly because I wanted to kind of respect what the BBT was doing. Awarding folks an opportunity if they so choose. And those folks were the ones who dedicated themselves to making as many of the BBT events as possible in hopes to earn their spot into the TOC.

So I didn't play......well, except those 2 mookies.

But being in the TOC, I had to take a shot. Had to open up. Had to concentrate. It was an opportunity I didn't expect but one that I should not pass up....nor should anyone regardless of the situation.

Going into the TOC, I realized it as a pipedream. I thought it was a bad omen when that Sunday came. I finished our Sunday family dinner at the inlaws and left the wife and kids at wifey's folks house to drive home and get ready at 6:45.

We had no power.

I was frantic. On the phone waiting for the electric company to answer......

It came back on at 7:05 unexplained. I logged in at 7:10 and off I went.

The tourney itself was standard. I only had all my chips in the middle once during the entire tourney. I won a few flips when I had a good stack.

And I swear I bluffed actyper out of least 5 hands at the final table. He was a big stack throwing his weight. Me being in the 2 and 3 slot kept him honest, I guess, when I played back at him.

In the end, at 11:24, I found myself a victor in the greatest of the blogger tournies ever assembled.

0:24:09 ET - 2009/06/08.
Seat 3: jjok (54,982)
Seat 9: actyper (165,018)
jjok antes 300
actyper antes 300
actyper posts the small blind of 1,200
jjok posts the big blind of 2,400
The button is in seat #9
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to jjok [Qh Td]
actyper raises to 164,718, and is all in
jjok has 15 seconds left to act
jjok has timed out
jjok folds
jjok is sitting out

I timed out that next hand because I was in shock. Not confused as to who wins what. Not trying to figure out if I really can just autoshove every hand from here on in. I knew exactly what had happened. I was just shocked. I danced and then put my hands on the top of my head and just zombified at what had just happened.

The wifey watching tv in the same room as I. I turned and looked at her. She says to me.... "How'd you do?" and I told her "Baby, I won."

And she said "Cool, now move your fatass outta the way, you're blocking the tv, Fatty McFatterson". She can say that because she's a workout queen.....and I'm not one any more.

Ok, she was happier than that. ;)

-----------------------------

I was not playing to win the seat in the TOC. I just wanted to play with friends. Gawd I sound like I'm 9 years old saying that but it's true. I've enjoyed this community we have for a long time now.

I laugh when waffles gets bounced on something dumb either by himself or by someone hitting a 2 outter.

I laugh when I see Lucko or LJ or whomever yell out their "BOOOOOMS", then get bounced on the bubble. I don't wish them ill will but let's face it, it's pretty fucking funny when it happens. And look what LJ just did in the HORSE event. That was nothing short of awesome and I could only have wished she would have gone the distance. But still, I'm happy for her.

Or how about Hoy finally winning a mookie. I smiled big when that happened because I know how much the Mook has frustrated him. Hate him or love him, it was definitely a "moment" when you've been reading about those frustrations for what seems like years and then he can finally rid that monkey on his back.

It's the community we have, take it or leave it. Enjoy it or get pissed at it. Find your clique and hate another. Rant away, say your gg's, gl's, and nh's. Get pissed that some clown calls you down on a draw and hits to bounce you 2 hours in, then be happy that he uses the chips to win it all because it was all a part of the process that is tournament play.....and he/she ain't that bad of a person anyway.

Great fun, all of it and I thank all of you for allowing me to participate, albeit briefly.

-----------------------------

That Sunday night, I didn't sleep much at all. I was in an emotional high. But I felt unsettled.

Would I dissappoint folks by not playing the ME.

Over the course of the next few days, I received a lot of emails and IM's from folks. Probably one of the nicest was an email from another blogger who said in his email...

"I just wanted to say congrats on the huge win and that you should do what is right for you and your family. Don't feel pressured to play if it isn't right."

TY sir.

So to all that have commented, IM'd, emailed me, I say thanks. I'm humbled....truly.

I looked at trying to play a $1500 event, yet can't find help for the wife. No way I'm bolting off with a couple of grand to Vegas while she sits at home taking care of the kids solo for 3 or 4 days. Both sets of grandparents are on vacation for those 2 weekends of 1500$ events.

And as for the ME, I thought about it more and more.

Maybe I should play it.

I even proposed to my director about it. I wasn't comfortable with the thought, but I have clout in the organization and just wanted a feeler from her. She even said it herself when I asked her about taking that much time off on short notice. She simply wasn't that comfortable with it but the decision was mine to make and they would make do. I've got 2 major projects that I am working on. Both to be deployed during the month of July and I am the resident subject matter expert for them at this point.

Plus, it's 10 grand folks. I'm not in my mid 20's with zero responsibilities or just married. I've got 4 kids. The girls are off to private first grade next fall for 15 grand. I've got all the same bills that lots of you have.....mortgage and 1 car payment.

Not to mention that I would be out expenses for the trip too. I'm not complaining one bit about that, but it was also something to be considered........

And ultimately, I don't think it's fair to my family to bolt for a week or 2 on my own when we haven't taken a serious vacation since the beginning of 2008.

That's simply not fair to them, and it's just not the right thing to do.

I guess you can say it just wasn't meant to be.

-------------------------------

Trust me when I say this. I dream of playing in the Main Event. It's what got me interested in poker and it's something I still daydream about occasionally when I'm in one of those moods.

Would love to play.

Just can't do it right now with my life the way it is........

So there you have it, rambling and idiotic all wrapped up into 1 post. I hope I don't disappoint all you fine folks (4 of you) who still come to this humble little blog from me.